Michael Battalio

Saturday, July 01, 2006


I'm feeling anxious about something.  I'm not sure what.  Perhaps it's my upcoming visit to see Wes and Ohno in Memphis, but I don't know why I would be anxious about that.  I'm actually looking forward to breaking the routine that I've set up so far this summer.  It also could be that I'm now half way through with summer and haven't done as much as I set out to do.  (I know I've mentioned here that before.)  And that I'm really not looking forward to next semester as much as I looked forward to last semester during Christmas break, and that's probably because last semester was a let down and otherwise disaster to me.  So in this regard, I guess I really should look forward to next semester because it certainly can't be worse than what I put myself through during the spring.  All of this, though, still leaves me without an answer as to what I'm anxious about.


A few days ago I joined a friend for lunch; we eat together every Wednesday.  (Let me mention something about Jeff for context:  He has a faith to be envied if you're religious, or a faith to be mocked if you're an atheist.  He is one of the most devout people I know, Catholic or otherwise.  He's Baptist.)  To continue, as anyone who ever reads this should have figured out by now, my breakdown of sanity had a lot to do with a crisis of faith, and as remedy to this crisis, I have been collecting the opinions- on God, on religion, on faith in general- from all the people I know whose views I respect and who have widely differing opinions on just about everything.  (If you're a good friend of mine, don't be hurt if I haven't talked to you about it yet.  I can only talk to so many people at a time and keep everything straight in my head.)  My conversation with Jeff proved very helpful, as have most of the conversations I've had with people.  His reasoning for God is as follows:  the universe is too beautiful for there not to be a God.  (A wonderfully simple logic, although I might have over simplified it.)  The reasoning is very pretty, for lack of a better word, but it still isn't enough for me.  Someone remind me to talk about the anthropic principle in physics at some point.  (The truncated version:  if the universe weren't pretty, we wouldn't be here to witness it.  I should have asked Jeff about it, next time.)  Now that this post is too long, the point of all this being, my search continues unabated.

1 comment:

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