Michael Battalio


Monday, May 29, 2006

random bits of info from my life

I had thought about taking up swimming this summer, but my dad has
just about convinced me to lift weights again. It won't be something
I'll look forward to, but rather something to hopefully take up time
and make me feel better about myself. I must admit though that when
I was doing it last summer I absolutely hated it. I'm really not
built to exercise that much, and I'm too lazy. Then again, I really
don't want to be underweight for the entire time in my life that I'm
attempting to pick up women, so I suppose I should try to gain all
the weight back. I ended up gaining 15 lbs. last summer, but I lost
it all when I got back to State. However, at the end of last summer,
I did feel pretty good about myself, and I dare say I looked a lot
better as well. Either way, I need to make up my mind; I'm only home
two more months or so.

My iPod is broken again, and this time the warranty is up. So this
time I'm going to have to replace it with my own money. I've learned
a good lesson from all my electronics troubles with Apple in the last
six months: when buying from Apple, buy the extended warranty. I
think though that I'll wait for the new iPods to come out. The sixth
generation iPod is supposed to have a touch screen control instead of
the click wheel, so while expensive it will be cool.

My period of relaxation is over. I start work tomorrow at eight
thirty. Two months of probable boredom begins then. Great.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Confession

This happened a while ago, but I need something good to talk about.
I went to confession a few weeks ago. I talked to a priest whom I
will inevitably never see again. I'm glad I did though. He had some
good advice. I told him about my problems with faith and with my
general lack of self confidence at the moment; both of which stem
from my lack of a girlfriend [read as: lack of affirmation of self,
(there's a word for it, but I forget what it is)]. (Yes, I know lack
of a girlfriend is a childish reason, but that's the point of this
entry.) I will admit I felt kind of gypped from the encounter,
mostly because it was so short, and I got a lot out of the little bit
he did talk. But here's the gist of the thing: He told me it was
about time to let go of my ex from fall semester, and I really have
no choice but to agree with him. We dated three months (me and the
ex, not me and the priest), and it ended about six months ago. (At
the moment every time she pops into my mind I try to come up with a
song that gets stuck in your head really easily, because let's face
it, I'm sure by now I have analyzed any and all possibilities
concerning it, so no use just obsessing on it.) He also said that I
should figure out who I am before I try to be with someone else.
That I believe is the key piece of information concerning my
depression and quite frankly horrible semester I just got out of. I
need to figure out who I am. That will fix a great many things once
I do figure it out. I believe myself to be well on my way at the
moment, and consequently, I haven't had a badly depressing day since
I've been home. I have finally realized what I have done with both
of my ex-es; I let caring for them cover up my lack of concern for
myself. That's really unhealthy, even more unhealthy than just not
caring for one's self. I have such low self esteem, not just with
women but in general, that I try and find other more worthwhile
people to care about so I don't have to think about myself. I truly
think it's time for that to end, and that is what this summer is
going to be about.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

summer begins

I have to say that one of my favorite things to do while I'm home and
not working is to sit on the porch swing, right after I get up (and
while no one else is home), with a cup of my mom's fantastic coffee
and admire my garden. I do a lot of thinking there, and at this
point in my life, it is my favorite place in the entire world. If I
never got tired of sitting, I would never leave. I haven't even been
home an entire two full days yet, but I've already spent about four
hours there. I'm typing this post there in fact. The coffee is
starting to get cold though.

Now that the semester (and the wedding [that I played cello in, not
my wedding, although...]) is over, I am finding time to genuinely
think about things. The first conclusion I have reached in the last
couple of days is that I can't just forget last semester (Actually, I
suppose it's now two semesters ago, fall semester.); I have to have
memories to replace all the stuff about fall semester I wish to
forget. Spring semester was not a semester I wish to remember either
though (I dare to say it is something I wish to remember even less.),
so I don't really have any fond memories with which to come back to
every time my mind begins to dwell on things I'd like to forget
(Well, I suppose forget is a strong word. It's part of who I am, so
perhaps a better phrase for right here is to leave alone for the time
being.) So, having figured that out, I'm now going to try to make
myself a few good memories I can take away from this summer and bring
with me next fall semester. The question now becomes how. I think
the best thing to do is to call up some friends I haven't talked to
in a while, especially ones I know are in the same town as I am, and
go and do something. (Those of you who know me know I hate cliches,
but an idle mind is the devil's workshop.) I also think it is time
to renew my interest in some hobbies that I was almost obsessed with
before college yet dropped afterwards; painting jumps out in my
mind. Those are now my goals for the next two months. And we'll
just see how they go.

And with that, it's 12:30; I'm hungry.

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Weather Channel

My life is now fulfilled. My picture and name is on weather.com.
It's the daily weather pic for May 12, 2006. And if you watch TWC
from 3 till 5 this afternoon, the 12th, you'll get to see my picture
and name on national television. What a way to end the semester.
The picture was taken from my seventh floor room in Suttle on
Wednesday during exams. Life is good.

 
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