Michael Battalio


Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Bored Once Again

I, thankfully, was wrong about work. I am rather impressed they got
back so quickly. So, I started back at work yesterday. I was told
before I came back that they don't have a lot of money, so I would
only work when there was work for me to do. Meaning I would have
time off when I didn't have anything to do. I have already found out
that that was not entirely truthful. I have already spent probably a
couple of hours playing minesweeper. Yesterday, I also had a
"performance review" for the work (or lack thereof) I did last
summer. When I found out I had a "performance review", I was a bit
worried because I probably only did five or six hours of actual work
during an eight hour work day. I was afraid they had caught on to my
deception. However, much to my surprise I got above average marks
for everything except leadership, which isn't bad because let us be
real here, I'm certainly not going to direct people 30 years older
than me on how to do something. There was no way I was going to be
able to get a highish score in leadership. The funniest part about
the whole thing was that I'm getting a bonus and a raise for my good
(lack of) work ethic. These people really don't pay attention to
what I'm doing. Perhaps that's because when I actually have work to
do, I try to do it as quickly as possible, so I can impress people
with a quick turnaround. Now that I think about it, I probably
shouldn't be so concerned though, I know a lot of people who do even
less work than I do around here, and a few of them get paid more than
I. It's sad how far ahead you can get around here with so little
effort.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

You spend way too much time doing physics...

* if you are completely addicted to PhysicsNow.com.

* if you can't remember what's behind the door at Hilbun Hall which says 'Exit.'

* if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

* if you enjoy pain.

* if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

* if you chuckle whenever anyone says 'centrifugal force.'

* if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

* if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

* if you always do homework on Friday and Saturday nights.

* if you have a pet named after a scientist.

* if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

* if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

* if the 'fun' center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

* if you'll assume that a 'horse' is a 'sphere' in order to make the math easier.

* if you understood more than five of these indicators.

* if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
 
2003-2016 Michael Battalio (michael[at]battalio.com)